Sunday, September 13, 2015

Last Thor's Day

Back to the day of the week history lesson - Thursday is Thor's Day!

Thunor, Donar (German, Donnerstag) and Thor are derived from the name of the Germanic god of thunder, Thunraz, equivalent to Jupiter in the interpretatio romana.


***

Last day of Jupiter the gang headed down to the beach. I admired all the outdoor soccer pitches, empty sprawls of sand, all while sporting bathing suit 4/12, zero being the least modest, of course. 

The whites proceeded to get roasted, I pumped some iron on the beach gym, what great community installments!


I got home and took an uber pissed off selfie, what is this! An ego for ants!

***

AVAILABLE NOW!!!!!


...and if you sign up for a Macy's card, you can make the people behind you want to take your life!

***

I also took a picture of this castle... might need to have a dip in the moat.


That day I proceeded, like a pro, to barista gallons of iced coffee - call me Armstrong I was so jazzed.

That day was a long day...


In other news...



***

Yea this was originally going to be another PSA, about healthcare in America...

Back to the Wednesday

Welly welly welly welly welly welly well...

I was trying to think of pun or something about Wednesday, which led me to my next thought...

What is a Wednes? Katnis' ugly older sister or something? I decided to dig deeper; and by deeper I mean type it into Google, press the first link, and take it as the word of God; going against one of my previous posts, debunking the wisdom that is Wikipedia; but what the heck?

"Wednesday (ˈwɛnzd/,/ˈwɛnzdi/, or archaically /ˈwɛdənzd/)... Alternatively, or, turnitively, ///3>N~5Dæ

Don't you just love the pronunciation language! Classic stuff, why didn't we learn that in school?
I digress...

...is the day of the week following Tuesday and before Thursday... Ok, following so far...

According to international standard ISO 8601 adopted in most western countries it is the third day of the week.

Dafuq, ISO 8601? give me a break. But the plot thickens, depending on your personal level of giving a shit.



The name is derived from Old English Wōdnesdæg and Middle English Wednesdei, "day of Woden", ultimately a calque of dies Mercurii "day of Mercury".

Very interesting, but anyways...

***

On the Day of Mercury (the last day of Mercury, I'm falling behind) we met up with our leader, a fine young mother... named after pretty flower, and we got briefed, have breakfast, meet out sister group from neighboring town Ramla...



I woke up late, 8:20, 10 minutes to get fresher than a mother......, and then make coffee, and get downstairs. C+, no coffee, major demerits. This is probably why my father disowned me. Only kidding.


At breakfast I drank so much instant coffee I was nearly levitating the rest of the day, maybe it's time for another cup right now?!

***

The prior sentence led me on a week and a half adventure, only now to I return to finish this post, in a hammock watching the sunrise over the beach. Disclaimer: the sun is rising on the other side of the building, so its not as glamorous. But I'm not a morning person, guess sunset view is better anyway. But a romantic sunrise might hit the spot...


Welly welly well, reading material for later...

New Years resolution is also to stop drinking so much coffee... so if my mountain climbing knot fails I will not be levitating / I will be promptly busting my ass. Fingers crossed. Google: Hot Mayan Hammock Knots...

***

DIGRESS



After cleaning up all the broken ice, I had a few hours until my personal interview with the leader. After playing navigator for the Ramla group I journeyed to the beach.

Fork in the road, take left, clearly not the right answer! You thought I was going to put a picture of a fork I bet. (I know you don't have the humor of a Good Humor popsicle stick) Classic ironic company name?

Beach #1 or #Echad or #Achat - hebrew has masculine and feminine numbers, the plot thickens...

... was a religious beach featuring a wooden wall jutting out into the surf to separate the men and women. 

Perfect, all the ladies to myself!

After some swimming and avoidance of "way to close for comfort" fisherman, and some beachside iron pumping - I cracked my head on a metal pipe on the monkey bars, best way to show your burly toughness; I then headed to the secular "look at my tushy" hanging out beach...

Low and behold, hard bodies playing makot - a popular tandem musical instrument, shaped like two paddles that fills the beach with a cacophony of bonk and bonking noises. Maybe I'll make it to Carnegie hall afterwards...



I met the guy at the surf shop Waves and we had a nice chat, to say the least, he was pretty stoked. He showed me a potential baby. Although I only adopt the most expensive of sports gear shaped children, I'd continue my search for fatherhood elsewhere.

***

That night we celebrated Jamie-Boy's birthday, drank, danced (just me), and shared stories. Ol' Jamie-Boy, to differentiate from Jamie-Girl, turned out to be chip off the old block. Freestyle rapping ensued. 


Saturday, September 5, 2015

Flashback Tue 2sday

Walk out of the hostel, leave my FB name with Kazaa, to give to my fellow Kanye person. Two transfers, 1 iced coffee and stroll later I walk into my new place.


A white picket fence, Hibiscus flowers and an artsy half buried vase! Thought flowers like these were just a myth, but they are everywhere; even these yellow and white ones I've only seen rendered in foam.


I get to my room, the "bomb shelter" room, every place has at least one designated room, I suppose. The door is all gnarly with a twisty handle that sends metal spikes out in all different directions to seal it shut! Got to keep that air conditioning in at all costs!


A view from the bedroom window; the dunes, the Mediterranean, and the future home of professional surfer, your humble narrator. We'll see how much rocket power I have left in the tank.


View from the terrace, not too shabby. I'm kind of afraid to go to sleep and wake back up in my NYC apartment. Decent view, but not the same. 


After unpacking our leader took us around town and I tried to remember everybody's stories. We got some groceries; I pondered the selections of coffee for a while; the selection of hummus and hummusesque items were innumerable. 

***
The air conditioner was on the fritz...


Zing! Cheap shot, couldn't resist...

Don't think there was anything else said all night, looks like no comforter wasn't an issue after all; but a pillow would have been nice, but its all good, or sababa, as the Israeli's might say.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Moscow to Tel Aviv to Hostel

So the Moscow airport was a free for all, very minimalist, which I like, in terms of design, not "giving a shit."

The customs situation - There is a door wide enough for 1.5 people, no line, just a mob trying to push through - looked like a football tragedy waiting to happen.

No layover due to prior delays, got on the plane, fell asleep, woke up two hours later...

And we hadn't left the gate, derp :/



***

Get to Ben Gurion Airport outside Tel Aviv and I'm immediately flagged for being suspicious, or incredibly sexy, one could only hope... The solider asked me for an alibi with evidence - looks like my auditing career came in handy after all.


I went to the baggage claim, waited for about an hour, comforter did not show up. How poetic! Turns out its hot as hell and the air conditioner doesn't really work yet, so a blanket is the last thing I need.


I take a train to a station nearby the $15 a night hostel, I waited on the platform as an Israeli trio laid down some cool stylings on the synth, guitar and more different musical instrument. They built up quite a crowd. Once at the station, I decided to walk to the hostel, a 2.something kilometer hike with my life on my back and front. The neighborhood looked like a Call of Duty level, daddy would not have been pleased to see the sight, I'm sure. Good thing I spent a couple of semesters in college preparing for such events. Isn't pop culture in a warring nation just great! I was ready to dive behind an exploded car at a moments notice. I noticed a couple of potential tangos in an exploded building, I heard some one on a phone, hopefully not calling in an airstrike... but it was fine. Nice sunset on the final 100m stretch.



I finally got the hostel on my GPS and I saw this... Here goes nothing!


I walked around side and noticed the number on the door was the same, I rang the bell and got buzzed in.


Pretty cool little oasis, lots of street art, a pop up pool, bikes galore, I walked through the outdoor area up the stair and into the lobby and met a nice Brit named Sashana/Sashawna/Somethinglikethat, a fellow Kanye fan. I need to get back to her about the show on Sept. 30th.

I put my stuff down and headed to the beach, had to get into the Mediterranean pronto, only a 20 minute walk from the $15 a night paradise, it turned out to be. Towards the beach it didn't look like a video game warzone, it was very nice and I had my first Shawarma - which is like a gyro.


I got the the beach, there was a wedding on a rooftop, you could hear the prayers nearby and see the couple from the beach.


Back at the hostel I considered going to sleep, since I had been awake for a while, still on my caffeine bender, who knew the Russian airlines had such killer coffee? In my room I was joined by a girl from the Netherlands, with teal hair, and invited each other up to the rooftop for a beer.


We were greeted by a fine Polish woman named Hanna who was playing bartender. She's quite the world traveller, check out her travel blog hannatravels.com, she gave me some new ideas. I then went over to the couches, one of the many, to bum a smoke, which turned into a rager that ended around 5am.


The rooftop had a canopy, cheeky lights and a great vibe. First I met a dude named J...., a man looking to hideout, very soft spoken. A Chi-town scientist named Leo, who had just finished a research assignment on water desalination. He had just developed a new invention, a double bendy straw to drink out of a wine bottle with, very innovative. An Aussie named Georgie, or at least he said it was, he was drinking a bag of wine/inflating the bag to use as a pillow to use for his "micro-naps," he took about 5 throughout the night, before the regular sized nap around 3am. And actually first, a young peppy blonde named Kazaa. She kept popping up all over the place, and sometimes sported a helmet, which looked like a dinosaur and had a sharks fin. I asked her about it,

"It's for danger." She replied. 

Fair enough. We proceeded to drink and smoke for hours, was joined by some new faces, the Brit from downstairs, Hanna brought over a bottle of "wodka," another Aussie showed up, the Balls, Shane, an osteopath for pro-golfers, he was on quite the world tour. The Aussies talked AFL, and shared stories about 90s pop stars, the Brit knew, a girl from Dr. Who. Leo, Kazaa and myself felt out of water. Then Georgie took another micro nap, and we were back. 

I wanted to get up at the crack of dawn, and not wake people with my alarm... My room also didn't have a/c, so I was told to sleep on the rooftop. I was a bit afraid of the "Mozzys" as the Aussies would say. I kept relocating, looking for the cheekiest spot. 


I went past a large red light-up dragon, to the far side of the roof, for alleged hammock, didn't look too comfy, so I opted for the floor.


Then I reconsidered and went to the couch. Slept for a minute, got bit by a Mozzy, scratched, sun rose, went downstairs and slept in the bed. Also took 3 showers during all this, hot hot hot! My Aussie sir woke me at 11am, checkout! Packed up and headed out to my apartment. Time to meet the Real World crew!



Looking Back to the Motherland

I'm currently sitting on my terrace now, living the dream, check out the view!


Journal Entry written on plane to Moscow, Sunday afternoon:

"The journey has begun - Transaero UN2222. I thought I had secured the greatest seat in the house, hyperbole yes, ended up next to my original seat and a young family with two babies. All is well though. The nice man said he admired people like me, who could sleep at a time like this.  I said I admired him back. The father of a beautiful young family, with a little daughter who looked like Mom & a little boy, drinking what looked like my favorite childhood medicine out of a syringe. Rhinotan, I think they called it, those clever drug marketers, I still recall. The pink, not sure what to call it, bubblegum cotton candy, so savory, like a gravy for kids. The older woman next to me, who I assume will be staying in Russia; we cannot communicate, only via charades. I am booting up the Sims 2, maybe I can study their movements, they are so very expressive, with only nonsensical blabber and their bodies. When I first bought the game, I actually thought they were speaking French or something, and called the company to ask how to switch it to English. But I digress, chuckling to myself. 

I haven’t eaten yet today. Started off with the usual 2+ hour snooze, rising off my floor around 8am, with a start; I hadn’t finished packing yet. I suppose I work better under pressure? Or at least I prefer a pressure packed grande finale. Perhaps it is a meditative process; with seldom time to ponder my usual hangups, such as the clarity of my skin or how my body looks in the mirror, or how I could perhaps reposition the lights… But I digress…

My father’s girl friend prepared a pot of coffee! Which I quickly drank 2 cups, interspersed with breaks, unintended. I misplaced the mug around the house 10 times whilst I scrambled to pack the final items and/or unpack the final items. Several items that dripped in nostalgia were left behind. 

Two items particularly come to mind. One, known colloquially as, “The Japants", a pair of cheeky jeans that found me in Harajuku, Japan. Hence the name, pronounced colloquially, Ja-Pan-Tsu. They feature some key items, a small rip on the front pocket, exposing the red “blood” pocket fabric, which was even, allegedly, featured in a “You can’t wear this in the office on casual Friday” company wide email nod. Finally, on butt cheek left, there was a partially obscured patch, “New Mexico” “The Land of Enchantment.” Perhaps I’ll have to see for myself. 

Item number 2, the t-shirt that inspired the name of my blog. I thought it should be more rare, I thought it should be back in my den, for safe keeping, maybe.

So back to eating, I had the coffee’s; perhaps cup 3 & 4, iced in the car ride to JFK. I was feeling super charged; felt I had to get in hours of lost conversation with my father. Wish I could have mentioned what the I Ching had said the previous night about my trip. 

Which brings me back to the young father who sits beside me, watching a movie on his laptop, child 2 suspended in a basinet across from him. I had said I had admired him, what exactly though? Superficially, he had great skin, very young, and his wife as well, a fine women herself. Perhaps I admire the Platonic form, for me, he symbolized a trope maybe, a station high on a mountain side. A man who has brought more love and beauty to the world. A man who feels secure enough to bring new life, new creation to our plane/plain of existence. Just speculation, but perhaps it is just the bravery to commit to his journey. 

The tall blond Russian attendant just passed. My coffee senses are tingling. My precious…

I opened my computer to play the Sims 2, which my sister told me was available in all is expanded glory in the app store. How could I resist? A sucker for nostalgia and existential crisis! So I sat in my bedroom, turned study, the night before last, and created my dream life; organized my new home, with the thought in the back of my head. “Can’t believe you are organizing a virtual version of your room! You are currently in an actually messy room and you are leaving in 36 hours!” So I multitasked, gave my simulated self the basic necessities, and left him to his own devices.



I really want some coffee, want to warm up a bit. These NASA space air nozzles are on full tilt, and a bit too high for me to gracefully adjust. Is it just me or have you been more often cold than hot this summer? I often find myself freezing in a air conditioner infreezo; the cold version of inferno? Doubt it.

Let’s go see what my virtual me is doing…

***

Rapture - Shortly after I closed the doc the blond appeared with my coffee, absolutely delicious, with free refill! I ordered the fish, and proceeded to ponder the movie Airplane! in which that was the wrong choice. Here goes nothing/food poisoning! It even had a little quinoa salad, how hip of them. I continue to play with my compatriot to my right. So far we have commuted on several occasions; assisting the opening of shrink wrapped bread and the seat buckle. She asked me about my Sim, although I am not sure what. I replied, “It’s me!” 


My Sim house is currently in renovation, I initially went for a very spartan simple life. Although now after a few days, we have expanded the kitchen, built a second floor with sundeck and outdoor shower, changed some rugs, repainted some walls, and picked some posh living room furniture. Unfortunately battery is running out of steam. Until next time, in Moscow. Signing off!"

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Countdown to Moscow

FLASHBACK - In about 4 days time, I will be drinking a coffee in Moscow. I wonder if they have changed the rules since last time I was there...


"Please don't let bongs (water pipe, excuse me) smoke you while the plane is taxi-ing to the gate."
Roger...

Besides that, nothing to memorable about Moscow, besides KOBE!


Back to the Motherland, one of my alleged ancestors was from there and left when the Russians fought the Japanese back in the day. He peace'd the army and went to Liverpool, worked as a shoemaker, and then headed to the Bronx. As long as he had no part in the creation of Crocs...

***
1200 Hours, T-minus 4h to Launch

I first would like to apologize to those who love crocs, crocodiles, alligators, and all reptilian americans, including Hillary Clinton, and anyone else I may have offended with my previous remarks. And I apologize to Willy C. for taking a cheap shot at the misses, I'm sure she's quite lov... I digress

At the airport now, managed to get everything into one epic backpack! A moment of silence for my lost jeans, cheeky pants, the more modest speedo, nostalgia soaked t-shirts, and those who didn't make the final cut... you know who you are! 



Stay tuned for pictures and video blogging action! And send comments, missions, requests, contacts, whatever! Catch you in Moscow!