Sunday, August 16, 2015

The Catalyst IV - A New Hope

I just listened to the orientation webcast and I feel like David on his way home from the dentist and I just wanted to thank the man who made it all possible, or at least was a shining domino in the journey. The holographic Pokemon card, of sorts.

*** Scene Change ***

So I went on Birthright, with Israel Outdoors, as did the man I dedicate this too. (I can maybe get you a spot high on the list if you haven't done birthright yet!)

There was a open bar happy hour last summer at Boat Basin, which I was invited to by the man of the hour. Obviously one cannot pass up a open bar (For you CC people out there... you know) in Manhattan on the water. A beautiful August night...

So upon arriving I was greeted by a fine young lady, who I couldn't help but talk to.

"Are you interested in coming back to Israel?"

"Well of course!"I replied "Haven't you seen my pictures? Did you know I won, "Most likely not to leave Israel on the Bus Superlative Award Show?"

This was me later that night at Boat Basin, sans beard. I also wanted to thank M. Rubin, CPA for all of his beard training. "You better shave that scruff" was apparently the "wax on, wax off" training I needed to achieve my most recent form...

Absolute Savage Beauty! Who just got a nose job, a savage has to look good, right? and be able to breathe properly. I'm sure my future roommate will appreciate the assumed decrease in snoring. We shall see, but I digress...

I spoke with locals at the Jerusalem market and learned out the Israeli culture. Just not in this picture, this guy is from Colorado; and he's the balls! Good man!

I climbed mountains with ladies, in search of the perfect hummus. There was even a cameraman, wish he got a better picture of that bicep flex...

Alright, well make up for it later. Biceps for everyone! But we reached the summit!

And I looked out in awe! The hummus, the shawarma, the falafel... Absolutely breath taking, I assure you! I then descended to the beach to celebrate!

There was dancing, and the usual naughtiness, real horrorshow, as one of my favorite humble narrators might put it... Who happens to share the same name as the man I dedicate this post to.

And there was more dancing and toplessness, of course, that guy in the back I just noticed. I hope you are not making the same face right now, but maybe he's more like me at the top of the mountain...

Soaking in all that glory!

There was even some good old fashioned wrastling, as you may know, I'm a big fan. Perhaps there is a future for me in the Israel Professional Wrastlin' circuit. Check out my audition for tough enough if you haven't! There was even foreshadowing! (If you want a good story you need good use of literary elements... Stay tuned for some alliteration or something!)

So my character was guy trying to impress girl, the old classic face. She was kind of like Jesse's Girl.

I'm listening to it now, does he get the girl at the end... Maybe it takes a turn for the better... The point was definitely moot... go on... still 2 minutes left, you never know... Alright Rick your killing me, ugh.

Did I mention I am quite the romantic, I like a happy ending - But ol' Rick was right, for better or for worse. I won the fight though. Maybe I'll get to be Jesse over in Israel... But making people jealous isn't necessary, but look at what came out of it, classic rock!

But I lost the plot...


I just wanted to thank my boo and favorite CPA, Alex - who invited me to the Boat Basin open bar. Who know's what would have happened if not. I'll finish the story later; but Alex my good sir, thank you again, won't be the same without you sitting right there, reciting 90's rap lyrics or something, distracting the hardworking people around us...

I shed a tear... For that girl... And for you ;)


Director's Notes

I switched the title to a Star Wars reference, because my friend just told me there is a new Star Wars branded lipstick... Inspired by the lost plot.

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